I pretty much spent my entire youth and early adulthood in a relationship...I was like the queen of going steady.
Now that Im 31 years old and divorced, Ive essentially been single for the last 5 years and I have no clue what Im doing.
I was in a dysfunctional emotionally abusive off and on again friends with benefits sort of relationship for almost 3 years, and followed that one with a long distance no real commitment dating sort of thing.
Ive been on a handful of terrible dates and really am so clueless what dating is, or how to date or how to have a boyfriend or anything like that...
How often are you supposed to hang out, how often are you supposed to talk or text..should you always wait around and make sure the guy texts you first, even if you are texting on a daily basis? Technology has made things more complicated..the last time i was getting into a real relationship was with my husband, and we werent really texting the..I was 23.
Why do I have it set in my mind that we should be spending every moment that were both available together, and why do i think if hes not asking me to hang out RIGHT away that he doesnt like me enough..? GOD I suck at this
Sounds to me like you' re ready to get your feet wet with a real date. A date with someone who could eventually become a long term relationship. I'd say after your marriage you might not have been ready to get that involved, so you spent most of your time with short-term men who weren't available enough to be scary. Maybe now, after you've had time to sort a few things out, you will find yourself in a relationship with a nice solid guy because emotionally that's what fulfills you at this point in your life.
ReplyDeleteOf course, those types of guys aren't always as hot as the yummy military man. Pretty soon, though, physical appearance is counter balanced with the (always seductive) bate and switch personality!
yeah I think you are right, and it still scares the crap out of me! I finally met someone I kinda like, and he seems to be 'open' to the real deal and now Im like shoot, i dont even know what to do next???
ReplyDeleteI haven't dated in 7 years, so I'm rusty too. I'd say that texts are a good way to start. I've never waited for the guy to text first, but I have a big mouth that refuses to be stifled.
ReplyDeleteWhat do people do on dates now? Is dinner and a movie still the norm?
First off, thanks for following my blog!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd I can relate, I too was in an emotionally abusive relationship that (thanks to the strength of some friends) I was finally able to get out of about 9 months ago.
The whole dating things throws me for a loop too. But a girl friend of mine suggested a book that has CHANGED my life. The book is "Why Men Love Bitches" by Sharron Argov. It answers all the questions of when/where to hang out, when to text/call (and even what to say!).
Dating is really hard, but this book has been a big help. I hope it will do the same for you!
awww thank you for taking the time to comment, I will def check this book out, altho I have a really hard time being a bitch :P
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